I’d love to give you some hypothetical answers, but I’ll start with what I did today. You could even invite your children’s friends and parents around to your house. You … The truth is, I was guilty of control parenting. I am tired of the never ending judgement, the stares and the horrid comments. City-Data Forum > General Forums > Parenting: I don't want to be a parent anymore!!!!! Date night. Despite sleep deprivation, hair loss, weight gain, constant ringing in my ears, hovering on the brink of financial ruin for decades, zero social life, a job I've grown to hate and permanently stained lips from slurping pepto bismol daily, I still managed to raise my kids without major harm (so far). I share almost every aspect of my life with my family: bike riding, sewing, watching tv, reading, hiking, cooking, playing with the dog, etc. When I slow down publishing blog posts and teaching courses it means I am working hard to keep my family at the forefront. We parents have all had those days when we just don’t want to “parent” anymore. Women, especially, are hard-wired to be nurturing and take care of others. But here’s the truth: we often resent them because we don’t feel we can do those things for ourselves. So let’s preface all of this by saying you are NOT alone! Subject: I don't want to be a parent anymore Anonymous I have realized that I don't really enjoy parenting the way I thought I would and find myself either avoiding responsibility (working late, pawning it off on my husband, etc.) Thanks for joining me for adventures in motherhood, healthy recipes, fitness, and fun! It makes it easy for us to stay connected but also exposes us to the negativity that lives and breeds on the internet. This is when it’s important to connect in a way that is fun. Don't want to be a carer anymore. Thread starter Maxr1972; Start date May 22, 2020; May 22, 2020 #1 My mother was diagnosed with front temporal lobe dementia last year, and I am her sole carer. Throughout the day, I resorted to the following to help me get through: It’s a love deeper than I knew I could have. I want to start by saying every parent will go through a period where parenting just stinks. Social media is a blessing and a curse. In a recent North Carolina campaign ad, Obama vowed to improve education but also emphasized that “the truth is government can’t do it all.” During his campaign speeches, he implores parents “to turn off the TV set. We got fancy and whipped up some filet mignon for dinner and had a fancy dinner – candles, music, wine and all – after they went to sleep. When you’re exhausted from being a parent and a partner, you don’t feel like you have anything left to give at the end of the day. SPED: "What the parent wants, the parent gets"? You won’t catch a mentally strong parent saying things like, “I don’t want to burden my kids with chores. You are not the first person to have your children wake up 1,237,463 times a night. They wouldn't let me make any decisions. This is a part of parenting people don’t want to talk about. I am tired of holding my child as he screams in public again. So I went out and bought 2 yellow shirts and wear them whenever I’m feeling down. Save Money: Get AARP member discounts on travel, shopping and more. What do you do when you seriously don't want to be a parent anymore? However, I need to do activities and have interests that I  don’t share with anyone else. I want my child to have contact with their other parent, but the other parent does not want to have contact with our child. If I am very honest with myself, I often feel the same way. Admitting how hard day-to-day life can be when you are a parent is not crossing a line. When I take good care of myself, it shows the entire family that I also matter. Taking care of a parent is such a loving, caring thing to do, but most of us don't know what we are getting into when we choose this path. I like to do individual dates with the kids or do a fun family outing that is low stress. But the fierceness of my love is what ultimately extinguishes my burning desire to pack my shit and go. Oh, I still love my kids, not that I should have to say that. He often brings me back down to reality and reminds me that many people have done this parenting thing before. I don’t want to do it anymore. It can be hard to let things slide and it may give you more work eventually (I’m specifically thinking of laundry). No technology. “I thought this would be better.” don't worry just tell your kids what you are thinking. or moving them from activity to activity until I can get them ready for bed and be by myself. However, Matt was out of town and since they were choosing to run around and play, I wasn’t about to spend time making their lunches for them when I was still getting ready. ?, Education, 62 replies People don't know what love is anymore..trade partners like if they were products you buy and don't want anymore..HELLO!, Relationships, 26 replies cool parent vs. good parent, Parenting, 17 replies Hands-off parent or hands-on parent?, Parenting, 14 replies You keep your house semi-organized and clean, laundry is done, food is purchased, meals are cooked, and keep the kids alive. I ride about 6-8 miles, either alone or with friends, and while my legs feel like jelly afterward, it really gets my blood pumping and endorphins running. We parents have all had those days when we just don’t want to “parent” anymore. What can you do when you don’t want to be the parent anymore? don't worry just tell your kids what you are thinking. While growing up, I wasn’t really close to my parents, dad especially. Drop and Give them a Story. a list of Random Acts of Kindness your own kids can do. Read some inspiration for when you lack patience with Dear Me Tomorrow: Patience. It’s time I focus on fueling my body just like I teach the kids it’s important to do. I like it even more if they do it after they’re ready so it doesn’t prevent them from getting ready. I've been hit multiple times, throw against a wall, soup thrown at me, kicked out of my house, and just can't take it any more. Welcome! “I don’t want to be a mother anymore.” Out of curiosity, I clicked on the words and the screen was flooded with more of the same. I can’t remember exactly when I stopped calling my parents on … As a matter of fact, I wore the same shirt 2 days in a row last week because I needed the color yellow in my line of sight. Mother’s so tired they couldn’t form words anymore. We were able to talk about the crazy and game plan for the rest of the week so the days don’t take such a negative tone as they did today. This is all I have for the rest of my life. Mostly that’s because it takes a long time to see any reward for your effort. I am am tired of carrying around my broken heart as a result of the interventions and therapies having achieved nothing. I’ll be honest, I hate working out. out of you and your parenting journey with them? A child under five may appear clingy, cry, scream or pretend to be ill. 9 times out of 10 if I’m feeling worn down it’s because I feel like I’m giving my all to the family and I don’t feel appreciated. If you’re unable to physically get out of the house to see someone, use the phone. We spend every night getting ready for a successful morning so I knew their school bags were packed. If we don’t have anything that belongs to just us, it’s easy to have resentment of the people who have things beyond their family. They wouldn't let me choose. Prayer. Our kids moved like they have never moved before. Remember that dirty shirt I wore two days in a row? I know this may sound funny to read. Obviously you have not been a role model. Despite … How quickly he can do things when it’s beneficial for him but when I request something that doesn’t benefit him, he refuses. I’m introverted so that means I recharge by being alone. We may not want to admit it, but even my parents confessed when I approached them about this subject that they, too, had moments where they were just frustrated with parenting during the day. I Don’t Want to See My Family Anymore. We all have them, and it's okay to sometimes not want to parent anymore because of them. I try to find a park we haven’t been to before and we take the whole family there. And I don’t want to be a mom anymore. Snacks. I never did. We need to be the adults. Doing all of this with your sanity intact can be a big feat some days. Wait, what?! When a relationship breaks down it can be very difficult to talk about arrangements with your child’s other parent. Take the leap and schedule something for yourself. I don’t need to qualify my complaints. I don’t call my parents anymore (JuliaMag/iStock) By Jennifer Kuhel. I don’t want to be a mum anymore (76 Posts) Add message | Report. I called them all into the family room and once they all finally trickled in I let them know we need to leave every morning at 8 am. In those cases, find a good friend to switch services with. so it needs to be us. Now that we’ve established there is strength in numbers when it comes to parenting, what do you do on those days when you just CAN’T “parent” anymore?! It's not fair to the boys, to my daughter, to us and even to their bios honestly! Clearly you are the type of person who has not been a very good parent so they probably don't have much respect or love for you anyways and they probably want out anyways. I try my hardest to get into bed by 9pm and fall asleep by 10. In my experience as a therapist, difficulties with parents can be a source of bonding for many friends. Anonymous: Get a therapist ASAP. But it also helped to just sit down for 30 minutes on the couch as I read a book to Ainsley on one knee while simultaneously flipping through another with Emerson on my other knee. I am drained and just don’t want to deal with him anymore. You don't need to listen to your parents anymore as you are independent. Don’t want to live with my dad anymore. Magical things happen when the written word is in play. It seems that the disease enhances whatever little characteristics we found annoying. They both ruined those plans and it got my day off to a bad start! He helps comfort me and remind me that I set the tone for the little minions – NOT the other way around. Have the children play out in the garden, any babies or toddlers could play on a baby swing whilst the parents are talking. Sure, I miss some things but my well being is more important than being up to date on everyone all the time. Mom becomes obsessed on certain questions or subjects and will just keep asking them each and every time she sees my face. But again, just like I tell my kids, sometimes we have to do things we hate to make ourselves better. My mother has a brother and sister. You sound depressed. (38 is a serving size, so one serving per each – reasonable, right?). I am tired of the never ending judgement, the stares and the horrid comments. Or to just flat out struggle with sleep. “I hate this life.” Our sweet children can easily make us feel worthless and make us dread each and every day. Some forums can only be seen by registered members. I just have to accept that this is my life and i might be in a bad place because of it, but I have to do it. You're Doing What's Right For You. Your email address will not be published. I am am tired of carrying around my broken heart as a result of the interventions and therapies having achieved nothing. It's just not for me." Required fields are marked *. Clearly you are the type of person who has not been a very good parent so they probably don't have much respect or love for you anyways and they probably want out anyways. I too hide from but what has been my saving grace is I hired a caregiver to take over during the day. I am a person. It was 7:50 am and lunches weren’t made. Plus our soon to be AS is due at the end of May. My business is the easiest part of my life that I can put on hold and it allows me to step back and take care of myself. Read More…, 4.Make changes to your priorities for a while. She won’t stop fighting her sleep and crying and it’s nearly 11 now. She currently teaches parenting classes in her local area and writes about shifting parenthood from barely surviving to thriving. They wanted to win every battle. Far from what they expected. 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